Friday, June 19, 2009

The Privilege to Breathe

I wonder sometimes the meaning of why we exist. Some thoughts like that never seem to be as trivial as a question like, “What’s the name of that sign that tells you to stop?” The meaning of why we exist, is a question that carries a barrage of uncertainties. We think we know the answer for a long time, but we don’t – bluntly put.

Zen as a regular practice has taught me that our very essence of existing should not be so complicated. It is quite simple. In fact, our existence was not thought out at all, why waste our time over-thinking it?

I’m not suggesting that a simple minded notion of philosophical questions should be discarded and looked upon as vanity to the intellectual egotism of the west. Philosophers may be sitting in arm chairs and thinking up their own opinions, but in the end of it all, how is anyone any different from them?

No. I’m talking about the regular understanding of our existence.

Think about it in terms of our animistic qualities. Biologists have a list of criteria that if met would constitute an object as a living thing. Biologists have to have some list of the sorts. I think it’s interesting that one of the items on this list (at least on the list that I have here in my biology textbook) simply says, “Must be able to breathe” as one of the main items of requirements.

Meditation requires a lot of breathing but it is not so that we can relax our mind, relaxing the mind is part of the exercise, but breathing, as an activity, is a privilege.

You and I are not a rock. We process oxygen. You and I are living beings. That’s not farfetched.

When my lungs expand and contract, I live. When they don’t, I no longer live.

Another thing I find interesting about breathing is that your body unconsciously keeps it operating. You don’t need to THINK about breathing to breathe - you just do. But, it goes the other way around. You can also THINK about HOW you breathe and control it CONSCIOUSLY. Did you know that breathing is the only thing that you can both consciously and unconsciously control?

This blog is about the idea of breathing. I’ve recently been talking to a friend who is going through some difficult situations personal and business-wise. He confessed to me that he lacks self-esteem.

When I hear someone tell me that, I understand what they mean. So you mean be asking, “What does breathing have to do with self-esteem?” I’ll ask you in return, “What doesn’t?”

The fact that I can breathe and so can someone else who has low-self-esteem does not make us any different – we are the same because we are both breathing.

Try this experiment. Draw your focus to how your lungs are expanding and contracting. Count in breaths how long each inhale and exhale is. Pay attention to the temperature of the air entering your lungs. Picture in your mind the colors of the air as it fills your body and all the oxygen is dispersing into your vital organs giving your body the nutrients it needs to survive on this planet.

Depending on how you did this exercise, did you notice how you can be fully enamored by your own breathing patterns? If you didn’t, I suggest that you try the exercise again.

Our breathing is the very thing that makes us alive. The troubles of this life, all its surroundings, including this planet are not any different from us … we are not victims of this chaos we call the universe. We are the universe and the universe is us. When you are breathing, you are not breathing the air, you are breathing yourself and the air is breathing you.

When you consider the issues you are handling today, those issues are not separate from you. You did not originate in a world where candy is free and everyone wins the lottery. You were born into a world of problems the second your mother and father conceived you. Those problems are you and you are the problems you face.

Should this be depressing to hear? Am I trying to make life seem dull and unfulfillable? Is pleasure bad? Am I a masochist? No.

Pleasure is good, I love it. You love it. It’s normal to have pleasure. But pleasure is not the answer to our problems.

In summary, I’m saying that our answers to our problems will never be met if we lose sight of our privilege to live – our privilege to breath. Appreciate EVERYTHING.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Zen Simplicity

Not many things to leave out in this blog. Meaning that I have everything to share and nothing to hold back; I'm not going to pull any punches this time. This is honest and pure.

I've been dealing with some issues that are so internal that it'll sound entirely vague by nature. Besides the most recent break up that I've had. I find that it is an inevitable thing to suffer for the things that most people suffer from. ... In other words, each of us is not unique in the struggles of life, we all share the burdens of breakups, stress and other anxieties.

To cope with them is a matter of emotional composure, intellectual understanding and basic experiential skill. There can't be any other way to learn to be happy without tolerating the deterring of stress in life. Without that knowledge we would always constantly seek attention and help from others, in hope that they will take care of our problems for us.

That is what I noticed about my ex. She was always willing to listen to our discussions when issues arose and yet she could not decide for herself what the right course of action meant. She would refer to her other 'best friends' on the matter. One of them including her ex boyfriend of 6 years. Deep down, I did not approve of that; but externally I went with it knowing that she will do what she wants to anyway. I constantly ask myself in life: Should I take control of situations when they reach a point of no control? If so, how should I handle this? Is it morally correct to abort a situation like this?

Now comes the issue I want to bring up - control.

What is control?

Can it be that we think we are in control of situations where our emotions have the better end of the stick in life? Or is there something that exists that foresees moral dilemmas through the winding paths of possible outcomes of choice? Are we powered by Free Will or Determinism?

Thus speaks the philosopher.

But for something more practical and interesting ... I think it is right to mention (at least) that when we make choices, we learn from them. That's obvious. What bothers me is that when we make these choices, how come other agents (friends, family, co-workers, people) manage to make the appearance of their actions pertinent to a common unfortunate event? Most of these problems are "pin-point-able".

Here's my thesis:

I don't think that human interpersonal communication has so many negative degrees of relativistic chaos. All issues lie within the self and the self only.

For example, when I see someone suffering from a bad experience (e.g. a break up) the most plausible course of action is NOT to complicate it with relativism, its to simplify his or her life with a common solution.

My ex-girlfriend went back with her ex. She complicated her life by saying to me that she must have him in the picture. And with me in the frame, I had to be brave and leave the whole art gallery in this fiasco.

The point I'm trying to make is this. Unlike many of life's pleasures - which are easily accountable - our troubles with reality, in our attempts to understand that reality, our suffering is the key to understanding it page by page, day by day. In the struggle to make that change in our life happen is to make that lost piece fit in our mental maps of reality. Sure reality is complicated, but human beings are not. We're just here to complain about things reality complicates. But if we live together, we should simplify together also.

I'm suggesting that we think less about our struggles because in the end, we can all write books about our own fucked up stories. But its really not going to mean anything because time keeps leaving us and disappears away from existence. Zen teaches that the only thing that exists is the present moment.

So in the present moment, we should only lean on simple solutions to major problems in our relationships. I find that to be harmonizing but emotionally disciplinary. If you take this route of discipline, all other roads will pave themselves. Keep it simple stupid.

-VinZen

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Announcement

Every week I will be putting up a blog concerning my life and some of the things that float around in my head. I've been more accustomed to blogging on Mypace or Facebook and I have to say that the last time I blogged was literally 2 months ago.

Today was of an interesting caliber. Right after designing my first website, I could not predict that I would end the night singing Bush's Glycerine in front of a room full of college drunks. What came of it? I lost 4 bucks and I gained some fanbase. Apparently my rendition of Bush's Glycerine was moderately captivating. Although I think I could have done better. I agree with my best friend George when he critiqued me. "This performance" he told me, "did not have good vocals but you did play well."

On the side of the news, I haven't caught up with my history. I've gone through a relationship and a break up within 3 weeks of trying my best to be the good man that I am. I guess sometimes the heart is rotten and left with emotional attachements as is the case with her. No longer should I date women with post-break up syndrome.

Recently I've been encouraged to do P90X at my house whenever I have break time to afford. Honestly, I fiind it a bit out of my syncronistic lifestyle in which I work all the time and play equally the same. I'm going to have to sacrifice my play time again. Hah!

Also, on a deeper note, I've been contending with my inner self. It's been a few months since I've made it a regular practice to meditate in silence. There's always a deadline and an agenda to follow so I have to balance that out to make things work out for me. But back to my deep thought. Yes I've looked inside myself and found that I am asking the best questions again. I've realized that when I do some internal dialoage I tend to inform my non-mature self to grow up out of the anxiety-driven factors of everyday life. 

For example, I contemplated why I would ask a girl if she has a boyfriend or not. It might be a silly question for you, but I think its an inappropriate question ... however I've discovered recently that most women will not often care about what you ask them.

Sure if you ask a woman if she has a boyfriend she's going to figure that you're interested in her. But its fine ... the best way to live life is to not care about what other people think when you try something out for the first time. I have yet to ask a randomly targeted girl whether she has a boyfriend or not. But I believe it's about time.

Plus I think there's a more indirect way of asking that question that lends more respect and intrigue to the conversation rather than lust and desperation. Ask her, "Are you single?" Its quick, and its direct ... but it also does not communicate your intentions ... its more of a generic question that you would ask someone if you asked, "Where were you born?"

My problem is that I would be inclined to feel like I'm intruding in her private life ... or sex-life for that matter. But not anymore. I'm going to ask a pretty girl next time if she's single. Then if she says, "Yes why?" I'll say, "interesting ... you don't look like it" or something like, "because you're a fairly decent looking girl ... and for you to be alone would mean that you have problems with guys, what aren't you telling me?" And say that with a straight face, it'll kill them because I've already established that I don't want them for me. I won't even mention that I'm single ... I just want that question to rest in their heads for a long time ... And that's how the cookie crumbles.

In conclusion (the words we used to end our essays in the 5th grade) I will write more to elaborate myself. In the meantime ... go on youtube and enlighten yourself. :)

Sincerily yours,
Vinnie

Monday, December 8, 2008

Alpha Beginning - What I'm About

Welcome to Designing God. My name is Vinnie. Life taught me a lot of things. Besides the drama, stress, people and annoying drivers we encounter, there is a creative element that has omniprescence. Life has taught me that besides the mundane things, the moments when we are really alive is when we create.

As a part-time graphic designer and art student, I've been exposed to this ability to create. So in a way we are like God when we are truely alive.

Weekly, I'll be posting up blogs with my own work and some philosophies I think of. I hope to stimulate your creative mind.

Thanks again for visiting.

Yours truely,
Vinnie