Not many things to leave out in this blog. Meaning that I have everything to share and nothing to hold back; I'm not going to pull any punches this time. This is honest and pure.
I've been dealing with some issues that are so internal that it'll sound entirely vague by nature. Besides the most recent break up that I've had. I find that it is an inevitable thing to suffer for the things that most people suffer from. ... In other words, each of us is not unique in the struggles of life, we all share the burdens of breakups, stress and other anxieties.
To cope with them is a matter of emotional composure, intellectual understanding and basic experiential skill. There can't be any other way to learn to be happy without tolerating the deterring of stress in life. Without that knowledge we would always constantly seek attention and help from others, in hope that they will take care of our problems for us.
That is what I noticed about my ex. She was always willing to listen to our discussions when issues arose and yet she could not decide for herself what the right course of action meant. She would refer to her other 'best friends' on the matter. One of them including her ex boyfriend of 6 years. Deep down, I did not approve of that; but externally I went with it knowing that she will do what she wants to anyway. I constantly ask myself in life: Should I take control of situations when they reach a point of no control? If so, how should I handle this? Is it morally correct to abort a situation like this?
Now comes the issue I want to bring up - control.
What is control?
Can it be that we think we are in control of situations where our emotions have the better end of the stick in life? Or is there something that exists that foresees moral dilemmas through the winding paths of possible outcomes of choice? Are we powered by Free Will or Determinism?
Thus speaks the philosopher.
But for something more practical and interesting ... I think it is right to mention (at least) that when we make choices, we learn from them. That's obvious. What bothers me is that when we make these choices, how come other agents (friends, family, co-workers, people) manage to make the appearance of their actions pertinent to a common unfortunate event? Most of these problems are "pin-point-able".
Here's my thesis:
I don't think that human interpersonal communication has so many negative degrees of relativistic chaos. All issues lie within the self and the self only.
For example, when I see someone suffering from a bad experience (e.g. a break up) the most plausible course of action is NOT to complicate it with relativism, its to simplify his or her life with a common solution.
My ex-girlfriend went back with her ex. She complicated her life by saying to me that she must have him in the picture. And with me in the frame, I had to be brave and leave the whole art gallery in this fiasco.
The point I'm trying to make is this. Unlike many of life's pleasures - which are easily accountable - our troubles with reality, in our attempts to understand that reality, our suffering is the key to understanding it page by page, day by day. In the struggle to make that change in our life happen is to make that lost piece fit in our mental maps of reality. Sure reality is complicated, but human beings are not. We're just here to complain about things reality complicates. But if we live together, we should simplify together also.
I'm suggesting that we think less about our struggles because in the end, we can all write books about our own fucked up stories. But its really not going to mean anything because time keeps leaving us and disappears away from existence. Zen teaches that the only thing that exists is the present moment.
So in the present moment, we should only lean on simple solutions to major problems in our relationships. I find that to be harmonizing but emotionally disciplinary. If you take this route of discipline, all other roads will pave themselves. Keep it simple stupid.