Some say that death is not the end. That somehow we live beyond the life we claim is real and graduate to a newer world. Some believe this new world contains our deepest fantasies; a place where elements of escapism engulf our neuronal pleasures and expand for eternity.
I'm not here to testify nor rectify what should be the correct view about death. In reality, nobody knows what happens after we die. My opinion does not matter. But the sad truth is that we will no longer be around. And man ... that's deep.
Death is a long trip away from home, never to return again. The absence of life is death. My question to you is are we able to face it?
When I look at life, I don't know anything else. The present moment is all we have. It is our friend - a close one at that. The problem with modern society is that we abstract our lives to make the mundane things more vivid than they actually are. Principles of reality are not printed in paper nor can someone teach you what it is. Buddha was strict about that:
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
What faces our current society, is the cause of the most ludicrous perversion of civilized conduct; how the world challenges itself with words, interpretations, concepts, philosophies, and premonitions of life; how the world lives up to it's status quo, determined to leap ahead and beat the rest of the crowd just to see another dollar appear out of reward for it's labor. The truly sick and blatant death of life. In no way am I addressing the inevitable cycle of life, in how death is inevitable, no. I'm addressing the death of living.
We don't value life anymore. Everything is a deadline, a panic, a stress, a situation, an event, a friend, a parent, a boss, the news, politics, issues, boyfriend, girlfriend, children, scandals, allegations, interpretations; irritable stimulations of the environment endlessly spiking their way through our scalp, into our minds and changing our perceptions of what is the obvious truth. And one of these truths is the reality of death.
Most recently I have had these irritable stimulations by the multiple. I felt at times when I could contemplate suicide and forget about the world or anything attached to me; to simply detach from everything, not even meditation could save me. Nothing would except one thing.
I have been drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, coffee, smoking cigars, sleeping late, staring at computer screens, reading endless articles on Law and Business, worrying about school, work, friends, family, and most the ambiguously categorized item of my priorities - my health. My panic attacks are visiting me more and more often, causing me to stop breathing and lose my control of air intake. My ADD is kicking in again when I cannot focus on my reading assignments; my brain is insisting the horrible suggestion to turn on the television for "background noise" while I study - not a good idea but habitual regardless of how smart I am. All these events make me cry and convince me that I'm slowly becoming a failure. I think I have reached a point in my life where I believe I am dying. It could be microscopic and a slow process, but I know the process of life is beginning to go in reverse. As I said before, only one thing saved me and it was that very realization.
Normally I write my blogs in a lighter note, and I'm not about to change my routine. Even though it looks bad to some, and innocuous to others, I'm still alive. As plain and stupid as that sounds, fuck everyone, I'm alive and there's nothing anyone can do to stop me from appreciate that.
When people talk about death, it's accompanied with a tone of dread. They don't realize that it's not that we fear death itself but the dying part of death. When we are born, we never complained prior to our existence:
"I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it."
— Mark Twain
Time is short, but that's the best news. Just because something doesn't last long doesn't mean it isn't valuable. There really is no need to commit suicide nor panic. This is coming from a guy who's suffering from anxiety attacks. No one should procrastinate life. It's time to start controlling our breathing, appreciating the present moment, learning and improving, and finding motivation to live eternally right now instead of later.
And for those of you who still wondering what happens after death ... stop wasting your time and get a life!